An
old man, staying in a small south Indian town came to visit his son in Bombay
recently. The son in his early thirties is a successful businessman living with
his wife and son. The father, having spent most of his life at his birthplace,
hardly understands a splatter of Hindi or English, forget Marathi. But he
doesn't care. 'I have come here to spend a few days with my son and his family.
I don't have to go out and socialize with the city people,' he
said.
But the son is very excited about his father's rare visit to
Bombay. He wants to make the best of it. He and his wife want to show him around
the city. And yes, the son enjoys those evening hours too, when he and his
father go out and sit in a good bar, sipping their favourite
drink.
Last week he was in a very good mood. 'Let's go to a five star
hotel's bar tonight,' he told his father. It was a beautiful evening. Talking
about everything under the sun they had a few drinks. As usual they were offered
some salad, peanuts, wafers etc. .as accompaniments with their drinks. The old
man being almost toothless was not much interested in eating. But that day when
they got up to leave, he simply took a handful of chana (roasted grams) and
stuffed it in the fold of his dhoti. He might have thought about munching on
them, sitting in the car, or
whatever.
Unfortunately while walking in the lobby, he missed a step and
stumbled. Down he went, scattering the chana on the plush
carpet.
No problem .Now try to visualize that scenario. Someone else in
his son's place would have been mortified, embarrassed to death. He might have
cursed not his father but his own self for causing this awkward
situation.
'Never again will I take my old man to such hotels', he would have
vowed.
No sir, not this son. Gently, with a smile, he helped his father
get back on his feet. Instead of feeling irritated or angry, he was amused. He
found the whole incident very funny. Laughing, they both went home and on the
way they decided to return to the same place the following
Sunday.
The old man liked the place and liked the chana too. Few days
back, at a friend's place they both described this event and made everybody
laugh.
Weren't you embarrassed? Somebody asked the son. 'Oh, come on now'
replied the son. 'He is my father. He talks in his native language, prefers to
wear a dhoti even to a posh city hotel, takes chana from the bar to eat later,
does whatever he feels like.... So
what?
Why should I feel embarrassed with his nature and habits? Nobody
has a right to stop him from doing whatever he feels comfortable with, as long
as it is not harmful to
others.'
The son doesn't care what the staff in the hotel thought about
that incident. He says 'they should be concerned only with their bills and tips.
I am concerned about my father's happiness.' The wife too totally agrees with
the husband on this issue. She feels there are enough other qualities in her
father- in- law to feel proud
of.
Accept them .The above incident is not mentioned just to show the
love and devotion of a son for his father. More than love it is a matter of
understanding and a healthy respect for the other person's
lifestyle.
A seventy plus old man doesn't want to change his lifestyle now.
He likes the way he eats or dresses or talks. In his eyes there is nothing wrong
with the old ways of living. And the son says, ok, fine. Every body has a right
to live as per his wish. Now at his age, why should he be forced to learn to eat
with a fork and knife, if he doesn't want to? I will feel bad if he is doing
something morally wrong or indulging in some harmful activities. But otherwise
it is fine. I am not going to try to change him at this stage. He is my father.
I love him, respect
him.
Hey folks, can you think this way? So many times we see people
getting embarrassed by the so called unsophisticated behaviour of their family
members. They keep on apologizing about their lack of class and manners or about
their drawbacks to outsiders. My wife can't speak proper English; she doesn't
know what's happening in the world, so I avoid taking her out or introducing her
to my friends and business associates... My parents can't eat with a spoon and
fork, so I don't take them to restaurants My husband is working as an ordinary
clerk, so I feel awkward when I introduce him to my rich friends. My brother is
mentally challenged, so I don't feel like going out with
him...
Are you plagued with such thoughts or do you meet such people who think alike? If you do, please ask yourself. Why do others or I feel this way? Really what is there to feel ashamed of? Most of the people always have this fear of other peoples' opinions and comments. What would others say?
Nothing.. You are what you
are..
Too big huh?? But it's a brain drain... Think over
it..
Mahaveer kumar Jain ✆ jmahaveerkumar@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteJul 25 (2 days ago)
to me
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