clear, transparen​t, frank relations stay life long and rest fall apart

There was a clear cut accounting between Dadaji and me like dadaji will have with outsiders. Only difference is he wud not charge interests and not give me reminders. But I will keep borrowing and returning as soon as possible. Even with Daddy our accounts were settled regularly.

With Sushama jiji we have maximum transactions for simple reason she will write and collect / pay for all expenses that is have frank and open accounting. She always came running to help from my marriage time to till date but accounting she will collect or pay even five rupees which keeps everyone happy at the end.

On rakhi and other festival it was only token of giftiesm (Rs 5 or Rs 11/-) and rest was love and helping each other in crises. I find one may have to remain Hungary, helpless, may be harassed etc but finally on D day he gets a gift. What hypocrisy. Many care hell for a person rather often make others life a hell but on occasions gift him big cards/ throw a party, give costly gift. If you can pour burning coal on someone ( by expectations), enjoy not serving food in time, enjoy his suffering and do not extend help and then give a big gift ? For what?? To satisfy that you are a rich man with status and impress to samaj that you are closest well wisher and relative??

I will rather gift a book but make myself humbly available in case one of my own needs me.

So my request if I am giving any work, asking to buy and send something then I have a right to take favors / trouble you but I am not asking anything for free, not expecting others to even spend on packing and despaching. That all has to be accounted and charged to me.

IF this idea does not gel with you and I do not get bill by email for items I have ordered by email then I will realize that in future I have been blocked by you and cannot ask for favours.

Dear , Asking favors and getting it brings each other near and if favour is asked and denied breaks the relations as the person showing back for no serious reason is mean, timid, selfish and better remains out of your circle. Relations are meaningless if one can not give and take favors but to expect freeka, haramka, to expect brother in law pay , to expect ordered items to be free is a cheap persons mentality and you are demeaning me and my sanskar from Daddy if you are insisting to not to accept money for ordered items.

I know of names like one Borker who did not take some money what he spent at the time of marriage of Pattu but after a year or so he bought something from my shop and never paid for it.

So taking or giving free accounts remain in minds most often and if not in yours but in the minds of wife, children etc and which spoils relations. Hisab ki jagah hishab is the only right principle and mantra to good long relations.

Many of my friends and relatives could have brought extremely needed good items from abroad but as they feel shy of collecting money they just bring chocolates. In whole life I can not count one good useful item from any of foreign living / visiting person except small unnoticeable complimentary as we don’t have frank relations of kya bhai kuch jaruri saman lana hei kya , han to la paise de and happily one can get rare useful item. Only once in life time I insisted one person (pampoo) to give me KINDLE and collect money but he too said I have brought for my friend and will get you that but????? But???????

However now scene has changed everything is available here, I too can fly anywhere anytime, or now on eBay or similar sites everything is available.

Seeking help at the time of daughter’s marriage, sickness, seeking help at most upsetting issue of family being faced is common and at that time not getting help is not understandable and Not pardonable and such irresponsible persons must be dealt in proper reciprocation.

I request you and thru this mail all others to grant me right to come near to you by seeking favours, giving favours but not seeking free ka.

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya,

NB: exception proves the rule.

Getting/ asking / giving discount to known is a good gesture but totally waiving bill is bad and will spoil relations.

This was about expenses and products which are quantifiable. What about services which I receive from professionals, social workers, contacts in govt, politicians for free. Mail on that some other time.

These mail are for awareness, are blunt, are intended to hurt and penetrate the conscience of all and book on my mails will be may be published and liked post my death.

Conversation with God.

Conversation with God.

Just askin'

        Me: God, can I ask you a question?

        God: Sure.

        Me: Promise you won't get mad.

        God: I promise.

        Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?

        God: What do you mean?

        Me: Well, I woke up late.

        God: Yes.

        Me: My car took forever to start.

        God: Okay.

        Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait.

        God: Huummm.

        Me: On the way home, my phone went dead, just as I picked up a call.


        God: All right.

        Me: And on top of it all, when I got home I just wanted to soak my
        feet in my new foot massager and relax, but it wouldn't
        work!!!  Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?

        God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning and I
        had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your
life. I let you
        sleep through that.

        Me: (humbled): OH...

        GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on
        your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

        Me: (ashamed)

        God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick and I
        didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't
afford to miss
        work.

        Me: (embarrassed): Ok...

        God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was
        going to give false witness about what you said on that call,
I didn't even
        let you talk to them so you would be covered.

        Me: (softly) I see God.

        God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to
        throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't
think you wanted
        to be in the dark.

        Me: I'm sorry God.

        God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.....in all things, the
        good and the bad.

        Me: I will trust you.

        God: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than
        your plan.

        Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for
        everything today.

        God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God,
        and I love looking after my children.

Before....

Before You Assume, Learn The Facts
Before You Judge, Understand Why
Before You Hurt Someone, Feel
Before You Speak, Think

Inspirations.......dont just good ones ...imbibe them....

Death: Why does everyone love you and hate me.
Life replied :
Because I am a beautiful Lie and you are a painful Truth

===================================================

Temple is a 6 letter word
Church is a 6 letter word
Mosque is also a 6 letter word
======================================================
Geeta is a 5 letter word
Bible is a 5 letter word
Quran is also a 5 letter word
=========================================================

A Lovely Logic for a beautiful Life:
Never try to maintain relations in your life
Just try to maintain life in your relations
==========================================================
Always welcome the problems
Because problems give you dual advice
First, you know how to solve it
Second, you know how to avoid it in future
===========================================================

3 stages of Life:
Teen Age Has time & energy But no Money
Working Age Has Money & Energy But No Time
Old Age Has Money & Time But No Energy
================================================================
We are very good Lawyers for our mistakes
Very good Judges for others mistakes
==============================================================

World always say Find good people and leave bad ones.
But I say, Find the good in people and ignore the bad in them
Because No one is born perfect
=============================================================
A fantastic sentence written on every Japanese bus stop.
Only buses will stop here Not your time
So Keep walking towards your goal
===============================================================
Negative Thinkers focus on Problems
Positive thinkers focus on Solutions
Never hold your head high with pride or ego.
Even the winner of a gold medal gets his medal only when he bows his head down
==================================================================
Define TODAY
This is an Opportunity to Do A work better than Yesterday

=================================================================
African Saying:
If you want to walk quick, walk alone
If you want to walk far, walk together
===============================================================
Confident Quote:
I have not failed.
My success is just postponed.

================================================================

Entire water in the ocean can never sink a ship
Unless it gets inside.
All the pressures of life can never hurt you unless you let them in.
====================================================================

Use knowledge and expirience ( and often others) to be smart

GOD determines who walks into your life.

It is up to you to decide who you let walk away,

who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!!

TRUTH and Gandhiji.....save urself a trouble ..speak truth

" At the time of writing I never think of what I have said before. My aim is not to be consistent with my previous statements on a given question, but to be consistant with truth as it presents itself to me at the given moment. The result has been that I have grown from truth to truth: I have saved my memory an undue strain: and what is more, whenever I have been obliged to compare my writings even of fifty years ago with the latest, I have discovered no inconsistency between the tow."

Human Virtues....Gandhiji

Can we play role of Dr. CarltonArmstrong

Can we play role of  Dr. CarltonArmstrong
A little girl went to her bedroom and
pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place
in the closet.
She poured the change out on the floor
and counted it carefully. Three
times, even.. The total had to be exactly
perfect.. No chance here for mistakes.
Carefully placing the coins back in the
jar and twisting on the cap, she
slipped out the back door and
made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug

Store with the big red Indian Chief sign
above the door.
She waited patiently for the pharmacist
to give her some attention, but he was
too busy at this moment.
Tess twisted her feet to make a
scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her
throat with the most disgusting sound
she could muster. No good. Finally she took
a quarter from her jar and banged it on
the glass counter. That did it!
'And what do you want?' the
pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone
of voice.. I'm talking to my brother
from Chicago whom I haven't seen in
ages,' he said without waiting for a
reply to his question..
'Well, I want to talk to you
about my brother,' Tess answered
back in the same annoyed tone.
'He's really, really sick....and I want
to buy a miracle.'
'I beg your pardon?' said the pharmacist.
'His name is Andrew and he has
something bad growing inside his
head and my Daddy says only a miracle
can save him now. So how much does
a miracle cost?'
'We don't sell miracles here, little girl.
I'm sorry but I can't help you,' the
pharmacist said, softening a little.
'Listen, I have the money to pay for it.
If it isn't enough, I will get the rest.
Just tell me how much it costs.'
The pharmacist's brother was a
well dressed man. He stooped down
and asked the little girl, 'What kind of a
miracle does your brother need?'
'I don't know, 'Tess replied with her
eyes welling up I just know he's really
sick and Mommy says he needs an
operation. But my Daddy can't pay for
it, so I want to use my money..'
'How much do you have?' asked the
man from Chicago .
'One dollar and eleven cents,'Tess
answered barely audible.

'And it's all the money I have, but I
can get some more if I need to.'
'Well, what a coincidence,' smiled the
man. 'A dollar and eleven cents-the
exact price of a miracle for little brothers.'
He took her money in one hand and with
the other hand he grasped her mitten
and said 'Take me to where you live.
I want to see your brother and meet
your parents. Let's see if I have the
miracle you need.'
That well-dressed man was Dr. CarltonArmstrong, a surgeon, specializing in
neuro-surgery.
The operation was completed free of
charge and it wasn't long until Andrew
was home again and doing well.
Mom and Dad were happily talking about
he chain of events that had led them to
this place.
'That surgery,' her Mom whispered. 'was
a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?'
Tess smiled. She knew exactly how
much a miracle cost.....one dollar and
eleven cents...plus the faith of a little child.

Poor Father and Lincon's attitude

On the first day, as President Abraham Lincoln

entered to give his inaugural address, just in the middle, one man stood up.

He was a rich aristocrat .

He said, "Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your
father used to make shoes for my family ."

And the whole Senate
laughed; they thought they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln.

But Lincoln and that type of people are made of a totally different
mettle.

Lincoln looked at the man and said, " Sir I know that my
father used to make shoes in your house for your family, and there will
be many others here…. Because the way he made shoes; nobody else
can. He was a creator . His shoes were not just shoes; he poured his
whole soul in it. I want to ask you, have you any complaint?

Because I
know how to make shoes myself. If you have any com plaint
I can make another pair of shoes . But as far as I know, nobody has
ever complained about my father's shoes. He was a genius, a great
creator and I am proud of my father".

The whole Senate was struck dumb. They could not understand what kind of
man Abraham Lincoln was.

He was proud because his father did the job so
well that not even a single complaint had ever been heard.

Moral of the story
Are you proud or embarrassed of your dad and what he used to do for a living?

"No one can hurt you without your consent."

" It is not what happens to us that hurts us. It is our response that hurts us."

This reminds me of my father who at old age was filling Pani Ka Matka In Matunga railway worksop for 20 years & workers used to call him Shantaram Pani Pilao.I am aquarian As Abraham Linncon.Inspired & Proud of both,I learned Honesty & Perfection,I always stood first in every class upto engineering & other fields.My son has done 2 MBAs & Son-in-law is South east Asia Head of a multinational

This is all aashirwad of Father & Mother & are proud of them.

Lal

So, please continue to do the good work.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race” - Calvin Coolidge.

MUDA ...Japanese term for our bad traits

Excellent mail . Thanks Shri Gaurav. Point is will we ever learn from such nice peice of advise???
Delay, indecision,watage, untideeness, over spending, over storing etc are our basic traits. 

Shockingly, but true , over use, wastages,misuse are so deep in our system that one takes is as right and if pointed at then feels hurt and hits back.

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya,



Muda

Some years ago, the Taj hotel group had invited Mr. Masai Imai from Japan to hold a workshop for its staff. The staff were very skeptical - the hotel was doing excellent business, this person from Japan had no exposure to the hotel industry- what exactly was he going to teach?

But everybody as planned gathered for the workshop in the conference hall sharp at 9 am. Mr. Masai was introduced to them - a not so impressive personality, nor the English all that good; spoke as if he was first formulating each sentence in Japanese and then translating it into rather clumsy English.

"Good morning! Let's start work. I am told this is a workshop; but I see neither work nor shop. So let's proceed where work is happening. Let's start with the first room on the first floor."

Mr. Masai, followed by the senior management, the participants, the video camera crew trooped out of the conference room and proceeded to the destination. That happened to be the laundry room of the hotel. Mr. Masai entered the room and stood at the window, "beautiful view!" he said. The staff knew it; they need not invite a Japanese consultant to tell them this!

"A room with such a beautiful view is being wasted as a laundry room. Shift the laundry to the basement and convert this into a guest room."
Ah Ha! Now nobody had ever thought about that! The manager said, "Yes, it can be done."

"Then let's do it.", Mr. Masai said.
"Yes sir, I will make a note of this and we will include it in the report on the workshop that will be prepared." said the manager "Excuse me, but there is nothing to note down in this. Let's just do it, just now." Mr. Masai.
"Just now?" asked the manager.
"Yes, decide on a room on the ground floor / basement and shift the stuff out of this room right away. It should take a couple of hours, right?" replied Mr. Masai.
"Yes." said the manager.
"Let's come back here just before lunch. By then all this stuff will have got shifted out and the room must be ready with the carpets, furniture etc and from today you can start earning the few thousand that you charge your customers for a room night." "Ok, Sir." The manager had no option.

The next destination was the pantry. The group entered. At the entrance were two huge sinks full of plates to be washed. Mr. Masai removed his jacket and started washing the plates. "Sir, Please, what are you doing?" the manager didn't know what to say and what to do.
"Why, I am washing the plates", said Mr. Masai.
"But sir, there is staff here to do that." Manager Mr. Masai continuedwashing, "I think sink is for washing plates, there are stands here to keep the plates and the plates should go into the stands."
All the officials wondered - did they require a consultant to tell them this?

After finishing the job, Mr. Masai asked, "How many plates do you have?'
"Plenty, so that there should never be any shortage." replied the manager.

Mr. Masai said, "We have a word in Japanese-'Muda'. Muda means delay, muda means unnecessary spending. One lesson to be learned in this workshop is to avoid both. If you have plenty of plates, there will be delay in cleaning them up. The first step to correct this situation is to remove all the excess plates."

"Yes, we will say this in the report." said the manager.
"No, wasting our time in writing the report is again an instance of 'muda'. We must pack the extra plates in a box right away and send these to whichever other section of Taj require these. Throughout the workshop now we will find out where all we find this 'muda' hidden."

And then at every spot and session, the staff eagerly awaited to find out ‘muda’ and learn how to avoid it.

On the last day, Mr. Masai told a story.
"A Japanese and an American, both fond of hunting, entered a jungle with guns. In the pursuit of game they entered deep jungle and suddenly realized that they had run out of bullets. Just then they heard a lion roaring. Both started running. But the Japanese took a short break to put on his sports shoes. The American said, "What are you doing? We must first get to the car."
The Japanese said, "No. I only have to ensure that I remain ahead of you."
All the participants engrossed in listening to the story, realized suddenly that the lion would stop after getting his victim!

"The lesson is competition in today's world is so fierce, that it is important to stay ahead of other even by just a couple of steps. And you have such a huge and naturally well endowed country. If you remember to curtail your production expenditure and give the best quality always, you will be miles ahead as compared to so many other countries in the world.", said Mr. Masai......

Regards,

D.K.Tongia.
Executive Coal.
Prestige Group of Industries.

LIFE IS BEYOND THIS ….., DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ……!!!!

Idea of sending this email is NOT to discourage any one planning
to go abroad from India

-Or anyone who is already staying abroad.
=============================================

It’s a repeat for  sure....but still good enough to read again



MUST READ IT (After read u will share it..)
WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER..
A Bitter Reality
As the dream of most parents I had acquired a  degree in
  Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the
  land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it
  was as if a dream had come true.

  Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I
  would be staying in this country for about Five years in which
  time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.
  My father was a government employee and after his retirement,
  the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.

  I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling
  homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and
  speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone
  cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and
  pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange
  rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.
  Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have
  only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within
  these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight.
  Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for
  all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be
  talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through
  all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting
  shorter I was forced to select one candidate.

  In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get
  married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After
  the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some
  money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after
  them, we returned to USA.

  My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she
  started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India
  increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our
  savings started diminishing.
  After two more years we started to
  have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us
  by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked
  me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.

  Every year I decide to go to India… But part work part
  monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting
  India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a
  message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I
  couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The
  next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there
  was no one to do the last rights the society members had done
  whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed
  away without seeing their grand children.

  After couple more years passed away, much to my children's
  dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down.
  I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my
  savings were short and the property prices had gone up during
  all these years. I had to return to the USA...

  My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to
  stay in India... My 2 children and I returned to USA after
  promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.
  Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an
  American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that
  had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India... I
  had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a
  well-developed locality.

  Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is
  for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife
  has also left me and gone to the holy abode.
  Sometimes
  I wondered was it worth all this?
  My father, even after staying in India,
  Had a house to his name and I too have
  the same nothing more.
  I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.
  Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing.
  This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these
  children are losing their values and culture because of it. I
  get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well
  at least they remember me.

  Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will
  be performing my last rights, God Bless them.
  But the question
  still
  remains 'was all this worth it?'
  I am still searching for an answer.................!!!
  START THINKING
  IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???
  LIFE IS BEYOND THIS ….., DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ……!!!!
START LIVING IT …….!!!
LIVE IT AS YOU WANT IT TO BE ……!!!

Don't enjoy martyrdom by being unhappy....

Be happy for no reason......happiness for a reason is just another form of
misery because the reason can be taken away from us any time.......

Put your ego aside and start living

OSHO VISION

Sannyas can be the end of the night and the beginning of the day. Between the night and the day there is not much distance – a single step is enough to take one out of all darkness and into total light. But that one step needs real guts, because in that one step you have to die as you are; only then can you be born anew, only then can the morning be born.

'Unless you die, unless you are reborn, you will not enter into my kingdom' – that one step: the ego has to be dropped.

And the moment you drop the ego, suddenly the night is no more, and everywhere there is light. Then one comes to realise that there has never been darkness – only our eyes were covered by the curtain of the ego. The light has always been there, god is light – there is no darkness; it is only that we are blind or blindfolded.

Let sannyas become that step. Put your ego aside and start living a totally egoless life. In the beginning it is difficult because you don't know how to live it. You have to start learning from ABC, but once you have learned a few steps of the new life, the old life seems to be so stupid that one cannot believe how one has lived it so long. It is so ridiculous . . . it makes no sense then. Once you have known the light that existence is, then the whole of one's past life only appears to be a nightmare.

Sannyas can become a beginning – it depends on you. Remember it: the ego has to be dropped, and it can be dropped because it is nothing but misery, nothing but chains. The ego is your imprisonment. It is not something to be cherished, not something that one has to cling to; it is the root cause of all hell.

So when one drops the ego one is not dropping anything – just dropping a stupid way of life. Then there arises intelligence, and that very intelligence creates a new life. To live intelligently is to be a sannyasin; to live alert, aware, conscious, is to be a sannyasin.

*OSHO VISION excerpted from: Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (Osho) * The Tongue – Tip Taste of Tao ( a 36^th darshan diary) * Chapter 18 * Osho talked to Swami Dev Prabhat – Lyle * Page 178 & 179 * First Edition: March 1981 * Wednesday, October 18^th 1978 7-00.p.m. * Chuang Tzu Auditorium, Shree Rajneesh Ashram, Poona, Maharashtra, India.

Life and death

 

 

Death asked Life : Why does everyone loves you and hates me. Life replied : Because I am a beautiful Lie and you are painful Truth Temple is a 6 letter word Church is a 6 letter word Mosque is also a 6 letter word Geeta is a 5 letter word Bible is a 5 letter word Quran is also a 5 letter word A Lovely Logic for a beautiful Life: Never try to maintain relations in your life Just try to maintain life in your relations Always welcome the problems Because problems give you dual advice First, you know how to solve it Second, you know how to avoid it in future 3 stages of Life: Teen Age – Has time & energy – But no Money Working Age – Has Money & Energy – But No Time Old Age – Has Money & Time – But No Energy We are very good Lawyers for our mistakes Very good Judge for other’s mistakes World always say – Find good people and leave bad ones. But I say, Find the good in people and ignore the bad in them Because No one is born perfect A fantastic sentence written on every Japanese bus stop. Only buses will stop here – Not your time So Keep walking towards your goal Negative Thinkers focus on Problems Positive thinkers focus on Solutions Never hold your head high with pride or ego. Even the winner of a gold medal gets his medal only when he bows his head down Define TODAY This is an Opportunity to Do A work better than Yesterday African Saying: If you want to walk quick, walk alone If you want to walk far, walk together Confident Quote: I have not failed. My success is just postponed. Entire water in the ocean can never sink a ship Unless it gets inside. All the pressures of life can never hurt you unless you let it in. __._,

__._,_.___

   

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Reply to: chetan gosalia All

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Yes you can. But only if you decide to come out of cacoon

http://beautifulwe.blogspot.in/

Life as it is 1( fight your weakness) : Someone coxed me to speak on Gandhi Jayanti Day when I was in 10Th standard.

I fumbled miserably and cud hardly speak few words and left the stage. The compere one Bahadur singh nepali further humiliated me by saying Ata jata kuch nahi aur chale aate hein mic per ki logo ko impress karange but phir kahate hain eisa ho gay , vaisa ho gaya are mera to kachara ho gaya.

I talked to my daddy on this. He advised me to stand opposite mirror and speak from written speeches. I somewhat picked up.In first year of my college I became group leader of several college associaations. And went on to become President of Jaycees youth club, Leos, Lions, etc etc... By this age I must have spoken to audience of 5 to 15000 and for a minute to few hours at a stretch on varied topics. I have spoken in street meetings, political meetings, meetings of proffessionls, meetings in 5 stars etc etc. I have conducted several seminars, discourses, leadership training programmes etc. I am not a very popular speaker (due to my tone and harsh language but is still sought after.

Humiliation and criticism are blessings for me.

NB: Join coaching, training,courses, etc.

Life as it is 2(use resources to overcome difficulties): Earlier I use to pronounce Sha as sa. Some of the friends started teasing me. I realised I have to improve.And after lot of practice and due to the efforts and coaching of my dear friend Manohar krishna Pandit I did pick up correct pronounciation.

NB: Go to speech therepist,plastic surgeon,personality developing institute, etc to overcome inabilities.

Life as it is 3: Same was with English. We speak Hindi at home and were sent to 5 KM away to Hindi school though English schools were in our vicinity. I picked up English in a very interesting style. My daddy asked me to memorise atleast one new word daily to be picked up while on way to school from hoardings,boards, name plates , banners etc on way. Besides he subscribed to English edition of Indrajal comics published by Times. One may evade English text books but can't miss reading English comics.

Then came issue of friends and connections.

NB: There r cheap ways availble around us to over come shortcoming and shine out.

Life as it is 4: Bury the darkside of your personality: I daily hear we won't go to so and so place or so and so group etc as no one speaks to us or no one knows us.

I would react by saying you did not speak to them, you did not introduce yourself to them. Therefore from same crowd many felt lonely and left out. So it is never an issue that you are alone but it is an issue that you have chosen to be alone/ secluded/ lonely/cut off.

And if u hv complex of any kind that they r more monied. or more sought after then that is an easiest thing to counter. Simple, very simple. Due to my social work and activism I was appointed Special Executive Magistrate when I was just 21 years of age. So people started calling me to gatherings and were proudly introducung me to their gang. I have a very bad voice, very bad at playing musical instrments, very bad in sports and on topics of sports and films which used to be and r still favourite time pass in trains and picnics and informal gatherings. So I learnt cracking jokes. So while I was poor participant in group singing/ antakshari but I was popular for lighter moments and so also for hosting/ comparing/ conducting show/ games etc.

So you see not always looks or money matters. You can make yourself popular / liked/ sought after by improving in talent/ hobbies etc...

http://laughandjoke.blogspot.in/

Life as it is : Be creative and use resources with large heart as God has given same for you to share: Often there r people around us who have habit of only chasing celebrities or monied. But who does these who's who/ celebrities chase?? These celebrities and others respect those who have awnsers to lot of problems which keep cropping up in everyones life. So become awnser to atleast few of the issues of your near and dear ones and by helping them become part of their family/ close knit circle.

Due to road accident of my father and age of my father and mother our movement to social life were some what restricted. Late beloved friend Dr J V Bhatt advised me to make them member of a senior citizens group at Santacruz West. I attended one meeting for sake of exposure. At my young age I had even arranged All India Conferences not to mention having run so many other organisations. LO! what I find, it was very easy to run a senior citizens group at my place. And if god has been kind enough to give me something so librally (place in city like Mumbai) then why not make best use of same. http://marigoldhall.blogspot.in/

About 8 years back I started senior citizens group known as Varishtha Nagrik Seva Sanstha and last Friday was our 208Th meeting. http://varishthanagrik.blogspot.in/

About three years back I suffered a bout of depression. While I was doing OK due to medication but still felt need to have a group of fun and frolic making friends. I went with my wife to friends like Shri Suresh Chabra, Shri Narendra Paliwal and others and gave the idea of having homogenous group of jain members for sake of fun , food and picnic and yatras. Idea mooted by us is a now a well sought after group of like minded members alligned closer then family members.

http://jainutsav.blogspot.in/

Make life happy and enjoy : Remember a mean, criminal minded, shy, snatcher of happiness of others can not enjoy life and only lives in Ahnkar which explodes with one major bad incidence in life

So friends, especially teens and retired, take own initiative to rise, develop personality, develop hooner (talent) and develop friend circle and group of well wishers. Do not wait for right time, right people or others to take initiative, others to spend money. Take first step ...not today... but just now... start with sending sms on friendship day....invite one senior citizen or not so successful old friend Sudama (Play Krishna) over a cup of tea…..

Happy friendship day to you all...

NB: Hooner was my dadji’s favorite word and he always emphasised on concentratinga nd developing hooner.

I wanted to add some memorable phots like playing cricket with Helen ( top film star of yester years and my favorite film actress) ( match played for Koyana flood releif fund), receiving award from Police commissioner, GM MTNL, with leaders , with top proffessional etc.. and not for boasting but to show that a simple ordinary person from a medicer family cud achieve something so you can achieve much more.

Alok Tholiya

9324225699

atholiya@gmail.com

Beautiful collections

1. If you can imagine a dream, you can achieve it.
2. Every step takes you some forward.
3. Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
4. Your attitude determine your altitude.
5. Nothing great ever was achieved without enthusiasm.
6. Make up your mind to act decidedly and take the consequences. No good is ever done in this world by hesitation. Thomas Huxley.
7. The sweetest of all sound is praise.
8. It is difficulties that show what men are.
9. Leadership is practiced not so much in words than in attitude and in action.
10. It is common fault of man not to reckon on storms in fair weather.
11. There is no education like adversity.
12. Never sing in chorus if you want to be heard.
13. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.
14. Companies worry too much about cost of doing something. They should worry about the cost of not doing.
15. Most people sell their souls and live with a good conscience on the proceeds.
16. A handful of man have become very rich by paying attention to details that most others ignored.
17. The nation that destroys its soil destroys itself.
18. Let us never negotiate out of fear and never fear to negotiate.
19. What is a man if he is not a thief who openly charges as much as he can for the goods he sells.
20. Salesman stick until the buyer has used up his last no.
21. Stop competing on price. Compete on value. Genius is one percent inspiration and 99% perspiration.
22. Give me liberty or death.
23. Everything that irritate us of others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
24. Stress is not a good idea.
25. You don’t have to be great to start but start to be great.
26. Procrastination is the thief of time.
27. Decide what you want.
28. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.
29. A goal without a plan is a wish.
30. Change your thoughts and you change your world.
31. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Thomas Jefferson.
32. Well done is better than well said. Benjamin Franklin.
33. Make a success in business, be daring, be first, be different.
34. A journey of thousand miles begin with a step.
35. An unexamined life..
36. Democracy without discipline.
37. Sow an act and you read a habit, sow a habit, you reap a character, sow a character and you reap a destiny.
38. Employees treat their customers the way their employer treats them.
39. Everyman is architect of his own fortune.
40. A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle.
41. One thing common to most success is the Alarm Clock .
42. The great teacher inspires.
43. Successful people are those with successful habits.
44. Know thyself.
45. The actual failing is not trying.
46. Progressive realization
47. All you need is the plan, the road map and the courage to walk to your destination.
48. Only rest long enough to gather strength.
49. A good head and a good heart makes a formidable combination.
50. You write because you have something to say.
51. People become successful the moment they decide to be.
52. Listen to what you know than what you fear.
53. Love yourself and attain the impossible.
54. Many only want praise. And even constructive criticism disdurbs them and they see their own as an enemy if criticised.
55. It is in the moment of decision one’s destiny is shaped.
56. The gift of your attention.
57. Shall not pray for a lighter load but for a stronger back.
58. A sense of humour is a part of art of leadership, of getting things done.
59. Look around for a place to sow a few seeds.
60. Just stay with the problem little longer.
61. No one can wear a mask for a longer.
62. Just an extra in other’s life.
63. Empty pockets never held anyone back, only empty head and empty heart can do that.
64. Profit by this.
65. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
66. Always have a plan and believe in it.
67. Be consistent. Be persistent.
68. The ancestor of every action is a thought.
69. Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.

Be happy before you can make some one happy

Can I give something which I don't have. So for sharing happiness I must have happiness. So first step is I must be happy. So I do everything which makes me happy.

By the way:
I  say, one must only do what makes one  feel happy and satisfied after doing that and feel no regret therafter.Post your action/ passing of the day you must feel it was just as smooth a flow as water flows in river.
If one feels he has done lot of obligation for doing family / common duties / work / routine then he does not enjoy that work so better one does not do that.Person doing work which makes him feel frustrated, which makes him feel remember and count the number of obligations he has done on others( family members, society, nation,clients,friends) etc means person needs lot of help and learning ( spiritualism) and is badly suffering. I say, till you achieve level of satisfaction and enjoyment it is perfectly in tune if you do not care for some people / some responsibilities,some  participation and sharing common goals. As what a hurt, weak, hungry can give??? So try to first get. And the day you feel your stomack/ coffers ( greed) are all full , the moment a realisation comes that enough is enough goodness will flow automatically from you as tea over flows from a cup when full.
Some other place I will take on size of your cup. For Kalmadi and alike it can be 10000 cr which is less and will be unhappy till he grabs more and more .For someothers  like Late B. L. Tholiyaji it may be anything above basic needs which is surplus and meant for giving and sharing.
So coming back to main topic of my mail: WE must speak to self : World goes on without I trying to be nice , without I trying to share responsibilities, without I contributing to family, society, world, without I having courtesy, even if I show my back, even if I take responsibilty and do not do, even if I just lecture and advise, and expect but do not do my bit. I shall and have never done anything where I feel that society compelled me to do this, I did this because some unseen culture/ system wanted me to do this way or that way. No I will not do that way. I will do only what gives me happiness and makes me feel satisfied. Because no unsatisfied soul can spread happiness. Frustrated person can only spread poison. First lookafterself and then only help others and be happy.
Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya

when you age you too will be outdated ..love ur parents

An old man, staying in a small south Indian town came to visit his son in Bombay recently. The son in his early thirties is a successful businessman living with his wife and son. The father, having spent most of his life at his birthplace, hardly understands a splatter of Hindi or English, forget Marathi. But he doesn't care. 'I have come here to spend a few days with my son and his family. I don't have to go out and socialize with the city people,' he said.

But the son is very excited about his father's rare visit to Bombay. He wants to make the best of it. He and his wife want to show him around the city. And yes, the son enjoys those evening hours too, when he and his father go out and sit in a good bar, sipping their favourite drink.

Last week he was in a very good mood. 'Let's go to a five star hotel's bar tonight,' he told his father. It was a beautiful evening. Talking about everything under the sun they had a few drinks. As usual they were offered some salad, peanuts, wafers etc. .as accompaniments with their drinks. The old man being almost toothless was not much interested in eating. But that day when they got up to leave, he simply took a handful of chana (roasted grams) and stuffed it in the fold of his dhoti. He might have thought about munching on them, sitting in the car, or whatever.

Unfortunately while walking in the lobby, he missed a step and stumbled. Down he went, scattering the chana on the plush carpet.

No problem .Now try to visualize that scenario. Someone else in his son's place would have been mortified, embarrassed to death. He might have cursed not his father but his own self for causing this awkward situation.

'Never again will I take my old man to such hotels', he would have vowed.

No sir, not this son. Gently, with a smile, he helped his father get back on his feet. Instead of feeling irritated or angry, he was amused. He found the whole incident very funny. Laughing, they both went home and on the way they decided to return to the same place the following Sunday.

The old man liked the place and liked the chana too. Few days back, at a friend's place they both described this event and made everybody laugh.

Weren't you embarrassed? Somebody asked the son. 'Oh, come on now' replied the son. 'He is my father. He talks in his native language, prefers to wear a dhoti even to a posh city hotel, takes chana from the bar to eat later, does whatever he feels like.... So what?

Why should I feel embarrassed with his nature and habits? Nobody has a right to stop him from doing whatever he feels comfortable with, as long as it is not harmful to others.'

The son doesn't care what the staff in the hotel thought about that incident. He says 'they should be concerned only with their bills and tips. I am concerned about my father's happiness.' The wife too totally agrees with the husband on this issue. She feels there are enough other qualities in her father- in- law to feel proud of.

Accept them .The above incident is not mentioned just to show the love and devotion of a son for his father. More than love it is a matter of understanding and a healthy respect for the other person's lifestyle.

A seventy plus old man doesn't want to change his lifestyle now. He likes the way he eats or dresses or talks. In his eyes there is nothing wrong with the old ways of living. And the son says, ok, fine. Every body has a right to live as per his wish. Now at his age, why should he be forced to learn to eat with a fork and knife, if he doesn't want to? I will feel bad if he is doing something morally wrong or indulging in some harmful activities. But otherwise it is fine. I am not going to try to change him at this stage. He is my father. I love him, respect him.

Hey folks, can you think this way? So many times we see people getting embarrassed by the so called unsophisticated behaviour of their family members. They keep on apologizing about their lack of class and manners or about their drawbacks to outsiders. My wife can't speak proper English; she doesn't know what's happening in the world, so I avoid taking her out or introducing her to my friends and business associates... My parents can't eat with a spoon and fork, so I don't take them to restaurants My husband is working as an ordinary clerk, so I feel awkward when I introduce him to my rich friends. My brother is mentally challenged, so I don't feel like going out with him...

Are you plagued with such thoughts or do you meet such people who think alike? If you do, please ask yourself. Why do others or I feel this way? Really what is there to feel ashamed of? Most of the people always have this fear of other peoples' opinions and comments. What would others say?

Nothing.. You are what you are..

Too big huh?? But it's a brain drain... Think over it..