do not regret when dying ......change now ......

Something to ponder over for all of us! A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life? There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again." Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware: 1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. "This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it." 2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. "This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence." 3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. "Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result." 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. "Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying." "This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again." 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

The ultimate truth

"Value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of giving. "

WORDSChamber: Pain or Suffering - An Intelligent Choice

WORDSChamber: Pain or Suffering - An Intelligent Choice Pain or Suffering - An Intelligent Choice “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding / and you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief” wrote Kahlil Gibran in “The Prophet” We see many around us in pain; we see many around us suffering. What we often fail to see is the difference between the pain they endure as a natural phenomenon of existence and the suffering they chose as a conscious choice in life. Pain is inevitable; many things we face in life can inflict pain on us – either influenced through a foreign substance disturbing the status-quo of our body or an internal imbalance causing a disturbance to the functioning of our system. A thorn piercing our feet cause pain; on a fine morning as we wake up we might realize our eyes are swollen and it’s causing pain too. These fluctuations in sensation that we call pain are a truth of life – inevitable. Suffering is a choice; to suffer is to feel or bear with disagreeable effects; dictionary has in it another definition of ‘to allow’; it is an allowance we give ourselves through a decision we make, a choice from a basket of options we have in life, an unnecessary allowance. How a friend treated you a few years back or a loss of share in the stock-market or a twist in your career might have caused ‘pain’ at that moment. That pain is inevitable to the nature of cause – a normal response of our system to an incident of that kind from a person you trust or a possession you held so dear or a dream you kept so high. Thinking about it years after, today, and feeling painful transforms that sensation to a different dimension – that’s suffering. That suffering is a choice. You are oscillating to a dead moment in the past and breathing life to it, inhaling its toxic emotions and becoming intoxicated and derailing from your path that otherwise leads otherwise to success. Acceptance leads us to the liberation. If you are wearing a suit and it suddenly happened to rain, raindrops falling on your suit, you suffer from the awareness that your suit will be damaged and with the thoughts of how you will get to a shade! The friction causes suffering, and the after-thoughts that follows. A child playing in that rain, or a young couple in the beach walking in the rain ‘accepted’ that moment as inevitable, and they do not go through that friction, but in that acceptance they rather enjoy the pleasantness of that moment. Should you in a flip of time decide to walk in that rain and not allow the thoughts of damaging your suit or possible illness infiltrate your logic, perhaps you too would have enjoyed it the same manner, attain that liberation. In acceptance, we are liberating the friction of battle that take place in our mind caused by the discrepancy of reality and expectations – or our perception of what life should be, than what it is. Our pain is in this moment – a cut, a bruise, a headache, a heart-break! That’s inevitable. But our sufferings are connected to a glorious moment in the past or a dream of the future, or a dark moment in the yesteryears or a bright hope in an uncertain future. Most of what we suffer is the pain of leaving behind something in the past or the friction of designing the skeleton of an uncertain future – a future that can’t be reached if ‘now’ is not lived to its fullest! In a world where the powerful and the manipulative minds and hands rule the roost, in a world where the formal mechanisms of governance itself water the roots of terrorism in different disguise, we are offered with reasons in abundance to suffer – the news we watch, the stories that unfold, the helplessness we live with to influence, so on and so forth. It becomes only an intelligent choice before us then to have an awareness of the ‘now’ and accept its inevitability, that, in that acceptance we realize that this is all what it can be, a thought that will fail to disturb the inner peace and the balance. Shahir......is a life skills trainer and leadership trainer

"GIVE TO THE LIVING"

When I am dead, Your tears may flow. But I will not know, Cry for me now instead. When I am dead, You will send flowers, But I will not see, Send them now instead. When I am dead, You will say words of praise, But I will not hear, Praise me now instead. When I am dead, You will forget my faults, But I will not know, Forget them now instead. GIVE TO THE LIVING, What will you offer to the dead. He used to appeal for Cancer patients and the hospital. His creed was- “You only live once, but if you work it right…once is enough” In three words I can sum up everything, I’ve learned about life- “It goes on”. (with you or without you)

The strength of a man

The strength of a man is not seen in the width of his shoulders. It's seen in the width of his arms that circle you. The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice, It is in the gentle words he whispers. The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has. It's how good a buddy he is with his kids. The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work. It's in how respected he is at home. The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits. It's in how tender he touches. The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest. It's in his heart .... That lies within his chest. The strength of a man isn't how many women he has loved. It's in - can he be true to one woman. The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift. It is in the burdens he can carry. ~unknown~

over confidence, ego, thinking u know all etc makes u poor learner

A Philosophical Story for You to Enjoy A university professor with multiple PhD’s and extensive studies went to Japan and sought out a Zen master who was known to have great knowledge of the sublime. The Master welcomed the Professor and invited him in, offering tea. As the Master was preparing the tea, the Professor listed all his degrees and experiences and studies, going on and on showing how much he knows. The Master stayed quiet all this time, attentively preparing the tea and listening to the monologue. As the professor kept talking, the master poured the tea, filling the cup, and kept on pouring. When the professor noticed the tea overflowing from the cup he cried out; “What kind of master are you, can’t you see the cup is full?” The master replied; “As the cup is full, putting more tea in is only a waste. It must be empty first to receive and hold what it gets.”